Birthdays As A Broke Babe

You're even now in debt. LMAO

Let’s be honest.

As a broke babe in your late 20s, nothing is funny. At least in your early 20s, you could convince yourself that you’re a baby because when were your teenage years again??

But in your late 20s, who will help you hear that one?

All year round, you feel your brokenness but it all comes to a hilt once a year.

Your birthday.

If you were rich, you would have called it unacceptable but who are you to say that? Have you not been accepting it? It’s people that have money that call things unacceptable. You have accepted this one.

And this is my story this year, dear.

As a child, your parents were solely responsible for your birthdays. You’d cry and scream until they bought you a cake, fine clothes and party packs for your classmates. As a teenager, they’d give you money to watch a movie with your friends and in your early 20s, if you tried enough, you could still squeeze them for money. But in your late 20s??

Your birthday responsibility is all on you. 

You know the worst part about it?

The fact that you are actually surrounded by people who have their own money. And they didn’t do fraud. Your friends have started companies, they have staff, married and spending their husbands money, taking family vacations. 

Guys, family vacations.

Like pay 3 people’s flight money.

And you’re here, trying to sleep through the morning so you don’t have to buy morning food.

You’re fully exposed to people throwing parties for their birthdays, willingly feeding 100+ people, sending them home with souvenirs, spraying your net worth, taking solo birthday trips, using your Oga’s take home to do shoot, buying themselves cars, houses, getting millions from their partners and generally, just splurging.

There’s wine tasting in France. Pasta and Lobster in Milan. Couscous in Morocco. Chai in Turkey. Champagne on the shores of Zanzibar. Holding a cone of ice-cream on the cobbled stairs of Santorinni.

You’re now very confused because nobody sent a memo. You’re just in your 10 by 2 room like Egbami ke.

The worst part of everything? You’re not even that broke.

How much is really Milan? Like 3+ Million? You have that. You’re not even that broke. You just have to gather all the money in all your accounts together, join it with the money someone kept in your hand and you too can make the trip. You start looking at trips on your phone but a message from your landlord comes in telling you that your rent is due this month.

You check when. June 16th. So if you use the money to go to Milan, by the time you come back, you won’t have house again.

Your father calls. He needs new glasses. They said he fell inside canal yesterday because he was not seeing road. Do you want canal to carry your father away? No. You remove small from your 3mil.

Your light just went off but you don’t pay more than 20k in a month so you quickly remove it from your 3mil. Money is still remaining now. Nothing to fear.

Baba Adinni is just died without notifying anybody and now, your mother is texting you because don’t you know he contributed when they wanted to chase you away from school? You sharply send another 50k for burial.

But no fear. Lmao. Money is still remaining. 3mil cannot have finished now.

You pay your garbage fees, service your gen, repair your bathroom tap and your kitchen sink, contribute for eran ileya, your brother’s final year project, pay for your professional exams and before you know it, the only money remaining in your account is money for suya.

And even that suya, you don’t get to buy it because you’re owing ajo money.

Now, you’re in debt.

Congrats.

And one might think you may be open to gifts but from whomst. You don’t have bae.

So you shut your plans down and sit down in your house.

The good thing is that at least you know deep down that it is not that you cannot afford the trip. Realistically, you can but your life will just shut down after so no biggie.

Also, there will always be other birthdays and you may not have money today but tomorrow you can. And if not, you will do yahoo.

The only problem is, it is the day you decide to do yahoo that they will employ the person that will catch you at EFCC.

But above all, there will always be other birthdays.

And with that, you take yourself out to eat at a fancy restaurant on the mainland.

You cannot die.