Daddy Suraju And His Spiritual Problem II
Why should I waste my time praying?
INTERIOR. HAUWA’S ROOM. DAY
Tuesday. 4PM
I was in my house thinking about Daddy Suraju’s case.
Due to the nature of Daddy Suraju’s problem, the case will need 40 days prayer and fasting and even with that, there’s no guarantee that all those witches will not kill him.
Let me not lie, I can’t even fast and still be running up and down mountain to be praying for someone. How much are they paying me in my office?
I don’t even like Daddy Suraju.
So I decided that I will use him before the witches get to him.
If they kill him, his glory will be just useless. But if I get to him first, I can use his glory and then, they can take his body.
Besides, why can’t I use his glory? At least, he is my family member. Those witches are not even related to him. I deserve it. So I did fastest fingers first…
MONDAY. PRESENT DAY. 2:30AM
Daddy Suraju: Are you hearing? Fast finger first with my glory??
Me: Fastest* Because you are about to die don’t mean you should be speaking rubbish english.
Daddy Suraju: You see! You see this girl has killed me!!!
Me: You too, why are you sleeping with witch?
Olori Ebi: Hauwa, why are you…
Me: (brings dollars out)
Daddy Suraju: You use me for dollars?
Me: We can use the money to repair the roof.
Olori Ebi: (Looks at the money)
Daddy Suraju: Olori Ebi!
Dad: Daddy Suraju, you too you know our roof is not good.
Daddy Suraju: So you want to use my glory to repair kpan?!
Wind blows and the windows open and shut loudly.
Daddy Suraju: They are coming oooo. Hauwa! The witches are coming o!
Me:
Daddy Suraju faints. The wind continues to blow.
Olori Ebi: Shebi they have taken who they want. Why are they still here?
Me: I did buy one get one free
Olori Ebi:...
Olori Ebi: Who is the get one free?
Dad: It cannot sha be me, she’s my blood.
Me: It is you I gave them, daddy.
Dad: ARE YOU A BASTARD??
Me: I don’t know. It is mummy you will ask that one.
Dad: You cannot see Grandpa there?
Grandpa: Ani mo fe jeran (I say I want to eat meat)
Me: Grandpa that hire witch to be massaging his arthritic leg. How am I sure he is not part of them? If I use him and he don’t let me rest nkor?
My father descends on me again.
Olori Ebi: Go to that your office and tell all of them to pray for Daddy Suraju!
Me:
Olori Ebi: What?
Me: I killed CEO goat to eat and they fired me.
It’s been two weeks and till now, Daddy Suraju is still inside coma. We will bury him tomorrow because all this karamo is not even necessary.
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Translation
Kpan - Roof
Karamo - Drama
Daddy suraju should just have let trailer match him
OMG 😂🤣😂
Hauwa you need help and fast