Do Not Wait To Be Celebrated

How do you expect someone to give you something you’ve never thought of giving yourself?

It’s 2:51am.

An hour ago, I started rubbing my eye mid-sleep. It was supposed to be one of those eye rubs you do for about a minute before sleep pulls you back in again. Except it wasn’t.

I continued rubbing until I was fully awake. It felt like there was a foreign object in my eye. No, there was definitely a foreign object in the eye. I got out of bed, filled my sink with water and submerged my entire head. No luck. Poked around my eye with a cotton bud and ransacked my entire house for eye drops. Nothing.

After an hour of struggling, I sat on my bed waiting for the sun to come up so I can go hunting for eye drops.

To pass time, I started to scroll mindlessly through twitter.

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Valentine's is in a few days and it’s a hot topic right now.

Lovers are gushing over being asked to be their partner’s valentines, the single pringles are hating on them (me), and some are quietly wishing this valentines day wouldn’t be lonely for them, yet again.

The origin of valentine's day is unclear, but in big 2025, the day is set aside to celebrate love (and capitalism). Dinner dates, flowers, unhealthy consumerism in the form of gifts, and the nastiest dirtiest sex you can think of. And I love every aspect of it.

However, there is also the tendency to feel left out if you’re not getting any of those. You may be inclined to sit around moping and wishing you had someone to plan one of those romantic dinners for you but you’re losing the plot because - how do you expect someone to give you something you’ve never thought of giving yourself?

I have a friend who absolutely adores flowers and periodically gets them for herself so whenever she’s with someone who doesn’t buy her flowers, she’s genuinely confused. It’s her normal so she’s left wondering why the person she loves can’t do the same for her. It usually does not take long for her to get out of the relationship.

A lot of the time, when someone is falling short in our lives, we do not demand for them to fix up because we are not even fixing up for ourselves.

People will only match the energy you give them. It’s why unruly Nigerians go abroad and suddenly become the most law abiding citizens. People reciprocate the energy they percieve. If you treat yourself like trash, you will most likely be treated like trash by the people that come into your life.

Now, I am not saying that if your standards are high, you’ll only meet people of the same standards, no. But you’ll be able to weed them out faster.

Back to the holiday of the lovers (insert eye roll).

It’s okay if you’re not celebrating with the love of your life this year but if you want to celebrate it one day with someone you love, start now. Start with yourself.

Do something for yourself so when someone comes into your life and they’re planning nothing for valentines day, it is foreign to you and you’re quick to question it. Set your standards so when someone comes into your life, they either match it or leave.

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And for the people whose partners tell them valentine's day is stupid and does not need to be celebrated, please do not listen or internalise that.

Doing the things that your partner loves (even if you consider them silly) is the healthiest sign of love.

I hate this show but I’ll watch it with you because I love you.

I hate football but I’ll come to the field and watch you play because you’re the love of my life.

I hate going out but I will dress up and come out with you because you’re the one for me.

Valentine's Day may not be special to you but if your partner loves that type of ‘nonsense’ then double down and plan a date because what is wrong with you? Why are you behaving like a dragon? Are you at war? What will celebrating valentine's day with the person you love cost you?

And for the people that say - But I don’t have time.

You don’t have 2 hours out of 24 to take your partner out? Don’t let me jazz you please.

To summarize this letter - If you’re not with anyone, celebrate yourself so when a lover shows up, they know you don’t do lukewarm energy.

If you’re already with someone and you’re not even sure they’re going to do anything for you for valentines day despite the fact that they know you’re big on it, side eye o.

I’m not the one that will tell you something is wrong but side eye sha.

It’s now 4:04am and my eye is still stinging. Maybe it is your boyfriend that does not want to celebrate valentine's day for you that sent me this eye problem, who kuku knows.

And lastly, women, please also give gifts. Don’t leave it all on him to buy you something. Stop looking to always collect, you’re not a thief.

Or maybe you are.

It’s not a bad thing.

My uncle is a thief and I still like him.

Happy Valentines Day in advance.

I love you.

(And for the girlies getting all the fairytale romance this valentines day, I love every aspect of it for you. Lovers are up this 2025 and I love to see it.)

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Today’s song is I’m with you by Vance Joy and I like to listen to it while I drive. 🤎