Shoot Day: Anxious And Nervous

See, thank God my photographer was patient and kind because he was supposed to have thrown me out.

I kid you not, the day of my shoot, I couldn’t stop pooping.

You’re probably rolling your eyes saying, “Mama, na just shoot. People do this everyday.”

But not me. My anxiety shot through the roof. I contemplated relaxants for a minute.

Let me tell you why I was so nervous.

 Not only is this my first time doing a professional shoot. It is also the first time I am going to be publicly sharing my pictures on the internet in years. I have to deal with comments from random strangers on the internet about how I look. One of the reasons I remained anonymous for this long is because I like to keep myself for myself.

That’s all about to change and I am so nervous.

But on the flip side, I can’t keep hiding from this. They say everything you want is on the opposite side of fear so I packed my clothes and called up my makeup artist.

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Luckily, my make up artist is also my best girl. Ayobami.

Ayobami is one of my closest friends so when I told her she’d be doing my makeup, I screamed into her ears that I wanted the simplest thing done to my face. Usually, makeup artists try to convince me to go big and I hate it because I end up looking like a masquerade.

Ayobami didn’t put a mirror in front of me because she knew I’d freak out over the process. However, when she finished and I finally saw my face. I wanted to lick it. 😭

My girl came through for meeee.

One fear down.

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Now it was time to pose in front of the camera. Something I am horrible at.

Ayobami kept shouting, “Hauwa smile!”

Smile? How? Should I open my teeth? 

Ayobami: Yes!

Me: (opens teeth)

Ayobami: Are you an hyena? Why are you opening teeth like that?

See, thank God my photographer was patient and kind because he was supposed to have thrown me out. We worked through different shots with my babe gassing me up and taking the goofiest videos.

At some point, I looked tired and she started giving me sugar-filled fruit snacks and coke to raise my sugar levels. At the same time, she was hopping from meetings to meetings. She was there for me. Entirely. I wanted to cry. I would have hugged her but her heart is made of stone, the only people that can soften it are a selective-few Yoruba demons.

I am so thankful for her. If she weren’t around, I would have done the shoot but it might have been very sad. I am thankful for the friends God has put in my life. Have good friends, it’s important.

I am thankful for the support and by extension, I am very grateful for this community. I have been writing to you for a while now and the responses have been overwhelming. I am truly grateful that you’ve stuck with me for so long.

You were with me during the days of no face and I hope you’ll remain as I unveil.

The next newsletter will have my pictures. I promise.

Thank you for reading. I love you.

Can’t wait for you to re-meet me tomorrow. ❤️