Someone Sent Me 10 Million For My Birthday

Imagination wan delete me.

The time is 11:13am and na imagination wan kill me this morning.

Before we start talking about my birthday imagination, this newsletter is brought to you by Catalog.

The weather is perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better weather. It’s raining but not heavily. It’s cold but not freezing. And today, I am a year older.

On most birthdays, I cry my eyes out. I’ll just be bawling because God knows I like soft life, yet, He brought me to this Nigeria. They looked at such a fine girl and decided to bring her to this ghetto country.

In the department of earthly assignments, they didn’t even post me to a rich family in Ikoyi that takes vacations 3 times a year, they went to dump me in Mushin. Then, for extra effect, my family now relocated to Ikorodu on my 7th birthday. So we did trenches tour with my life.

Every day I wake up and I have not relocated. Nobody has married me or taken me away from this Nigeria. Every day, I fight for my life. Yesterday, I wanted to buy fuel so that I can even on generator to celebrate my birthday at home. That's how I calculated how much will fill my gen and I ran away.

Tinubu cannot come and kill me.

Luckily, my babe carried me out to eat but he is fighting with them because the price on the website is not what they asked him to pay. Let me not lie, his card is declining because I used it to sow seed in my new mosque so, they will probably kill him in this restaurant. Me, I sha don’t know for him. I am eating upstairs.

And before we continue, what kind of subscribers are you people? Can’t you come together as one and buy Range Rover and House in Banana Island for me? Can’t you present me with cheque? Can’t you emulate BBN people? Must I continue to suffer?

And every day I beg you people to elevate me but all you just know how to do is to abuse me and pray for my downfall. Once you see that I have enter trouble, you’re immediately happy.

And you know what is even more annoying? It is the fact that you know my boyfriend is useless. You know nothing ever goes right with him? Yet, you leave me with him.

I have a theory that you hate me and you love to see me struggle. Because if not, you will know that I have been writing newsletter for almost two years and I have not seen up to 20k from you people.

All of you should just come together, do meeting to present me with the key to Aso Rock. I want to lodge there. At least, let me use it to forget everything that is happening to me.

Thank you and God bless. You people can do meeting at Ikorodu Grammar School. I have reserved field for you.

Regards.

Happy Birthday to me once again. 🥳 Do the needful.

The day is not over, I will update you once they finish beating Kabiru. Who knows, maybe the money you contribute is what we will use to buy panadol for him.

But I will rather die that use my money to treat him. If they beat him and his eyes close, I will drop him at Ojuelegba and run away.

Okay. Happy Birthday to me twice again. Send me money. Thanks.