Stop HyperFocusing On The Journey Of Others

And start doing.

First of all, I know this newsletter is coming in very late today. I apologize. This week went by so fast, it was a blur. It was such a blur that I don’t think I registered most of the things that went down during the week. There was only one thing on my mind - Survival.

God abegX100

I did survive the week but I woke up this morning in a panic. I was so focused on getting out of this week alive that I completely forgot to write a newsletter.

The way I saw it, I had two options laid out before me.

1. Scratch writing a newsletter this week. Nobody has died because they didn’t get a newsletter.

Or

2. Be vulnerable about a feeling I’ve been too ashamed to address.

I was tempted to go with the former because truly nobody has died because they didn’t get a letter but I knew this was a test from the gods of consistency. I have done this too many times to know that missing this week might seem small but that is what will ultimately lead me to missing next week and before I know it, I have missed a whole month of newsletters.

So I got up because 30% is better than 0%.

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Today’s newsletter is not about what happened this week. It is about a feeling I’ve been struggling with for weeks now. It was a feeling of betrayal and something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Maybe jealousy?

About a month ago, I shared an idea that I had with a ‘friend’ and I started making plans to make it happen but I was lethargic and slow about it. I would start and then stop. Start again and stop.

A few days ago, I saw that they had executed the plan and not only had they executed it, they executed it well.

You know when they say someone can steal your idea but they cannot execute it as well as you can? That did not apply to this because even I was impressed by how well they executed the idea.

I had to sit with my feelings for a bit and think of why I felt the way that I felt. Does this mean the idea was now theirs? Should I still continue with the idea? I couldn’t do it now because they had made it their own. At best, I would be seen as the person stealing their idea.

I was so mad at myself for ‘slacking’ with the idea because I heard somewhere that God can give you an idea but if you don’t get a move on and do it, He will simply make it happen through someone else.

At that point, I got even madder because wow, God really gave them the idea and the knowledge to execute it flawlessly?

God, do we need to throw hands? I know you will completely finish me but at least I will die trying?

God told me to shut up and sit down with myself for a little bit and I did.

I realised that the reason I was sluggish about that idea was because I wasn’t really convinced about it. If I was, I’d have immediately done it. Instead, I was confiding in people up and down like a confused goat.

It was while doing my cho cho cho that they took it. Who is a fool? Hauwa is a fool.

I spoke to someone and had even started to call myself a failure when they stopped me. They said the thing about creativity is that it never really runs dry. If you stay hung up on it, it is because you genuinely think it is the best idea you will ever have and the truth is - it is not.

Look, I could sit here and moan about that person executing an idea I shared with them or I could open up my laptop and start working on another idea that I have.

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Now, I am talking to you - The reason you think another person is doing better than you is because you’re focusing all your productive energy on that person instead of bringing that energy into your own life and goals.

The point of this really short newsletter is that when you are looking at someone and are perhaps jealous of what they have or what they have accomplished, you are losing time on making yourself great.

Don’t focus on another person’s race and forget to run yours.

Now back to the story, I don’t consider that person a ‘friend’ anymore. I don’t hate them of course but if you know me, you know that I only have a few friends and keeping people at a distance is something that comes too naturally to me.

So now, I prefer to deal with them from a distance but I am more than happy to applaud them.

So cheers to living while working on yourself.

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This week’s song is Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith

Quick backstory - I used to listen to this song a lot when I was in a relationship with one stupid boy. In that relationship, I was desperately praying someone will come and steal me from them because am I not a hot cake? Omo. Nobody stole me from the relationship o. I was so pissed. You mean nobody is fighting for me? Chai. Hauwa, you don suffer sha.

Anyway, enjoy while I go and find something to eat and toast my crush.

Thank you for always sticking with me.

🤎,

Hauwa.