Breakups Suck But…

Sometimes there’s a silver lining.

It’s ironical that you’re getting this newsletter while I’m in the middle of a celebration of love. 

For context, my friend is getting married today but I’m writing this letter a few days before.

My friend is one of the purest people I know and I couldn’t be happier for her. She deserves this and you see this broken heart of mine? It’s absolutely going to be on hold during the wedding. Also I think I’ve been put in charge of packing money and I cannot slip up.

But it’s not Saturday yet so I can talk about heart break.

BEFORE YOU GET YOUR POPCORN OUT, I’m not going to be talking about my heart break. No ma’am/sir, that’s gist for another day. Today, we talk about my baby cousin.

I have two of them boys.

One is married and blissfully unaware of these dirty streets and the other one, my beautiful baby, who is supposed to be flexing about town and drinking recklessly from the fountain of his youth, is currently nursing a very broken heart. At the very same time that I am also dealing with my own heartbreak. Lmaooo. 

I’d have said we’re unlucky in love in my family but my other cousin cannot even begin to relate to this nonsense.

You could be telling him about your broken heart and he’d be looking at you like you’re speaking Hebrew. Why? He’s never experienced heartbreak. He is married, happy and annoyingly in love with his wife.

Now back to my baby. The heartbroken one. It actually quite hurt me when I heard what he was going through because bad things can happen to me all they want but my baby? I want to shield him as much as possible.

Unfortunately, life never works that way.

I had largely kept my heartbreak from them because even though we love each other, we are never vulnerable with ourselves. We’d give each other a kidney but talk about relationships? Never.

So imagine my shock when he called to talk about his feelings. I say hain??? We do this here? Apparently we did o. I kept quiet and let him spill. And boy, did he empty his heart.

Anyway, I listened and kept telling him that it’s a phase and it will go away.

Do I believe that? Yes and No.

YES because it’s his first heartbreak, it will go away. Yes, it hurts like a bastard. My first heartbreak took over two years to heal but it went away. Hopefully his own won’t take that long because who has that time to waste?

And NO because there are some people you just never get over.

BUT HE WILL GET OVER THIS ONE IN SHA ALLAH ABEG.

But he does not believe me and he genuinely thinks he is going to die. What makes it worse is that it is fresh and although I know he will not die, it’s hard to convince him otherwise. 

I stayed on the phone with him for a bit and told him everything I thought I needed to hear in the early stages of my break up.

I told him it will hurt but each day, he will wake up and it will be a little easier to move on.

I told him he will relapse and that doesn’t mean it’s not getting better, it's just part of the healing. On the 30th of July, I called a friend in the UK and for 27 minutes, I couldn’t get a single word out. They stayed on the phone with me and listened to me cry. Guess what I was doing the next day? Dancing to Shallipopi on a beach.

I told him tomorrow might be better than yesterday but next week might be even worse.

He simply just has to keep going (hurts like a bitch but it’s true).

I don’t know if he was listening to me. 

But I tell him to call me anytime he wants to call her and today, he called me.

And even though I am still in the throes of my own heartbreak, I finally found a silver lining in all of this. I am closer to my cousin.

I thought nothing good could ever come from this heartbreak but here I am, bonding with family over love and wicked people.

So yes, breakups suck. Heartbreak is genuinely the worst. It will feel like you are about to die. But something good will come of it. Trust me. 

I am choosing to hang on to the little joys.

Like talking to my cousin about this and being his safe space.

I quite enjoy it actually. A little too much, if I am being honest. I almost wish that wicked babe had broken his heart earlier. Thanks to her all the same sha.

So if you’re going through one. I am really sorry but I promise, it won’t last forever and something good may yet come of it. I know it’s hard to see. Almost impossible. But you will come out on the other end and you will be okay and you will be whole. 🤍

Have a beautiful saturday.

Let me go and pack money. 💸

Today, I can’t choose between two songs so you get both.