Hauwa I won't say I know exactly how you feel but I know to an extent how it can feel. June 22 2023, day 2 of my period , the baddest and crampiest day for me, I woke up cramping and before 8am I received a call that my friend had died. I'm not an emotional person but the scream I screamt, In that moment it was clear why they don't tell bad news to pregnant women/women who just had a baby, because the way I cramped and bled 😭, cos how are you telling me that someone I saw twice this week, someone I just walked out of the kingdom hall with yesterday evening, someone I was supposed to send movies to, is dead and being prepared for burial as we speak?! Yes we were friends, we visited each others houses and had our inside jokes and bants, I didn't actually realize how close I was to her until she was gone. Nothing prepared me for how I'd feel after she died. Because of my cramps, I couldn't attend her burial that morning, I got to her house and saw her mom weeping and something inside me broke. It's over a year now, and I read through you mail in two parts because I was crying so much I couldn't read it all in one go. I don't believe time heals wounds, it only dampens the pain to a point where we feel we've healed, and then one day something triggers us and we're back to square one.
Your third paragraph says it all. I always say one thing I never planned for or taught of as a kid was the fact that my friends and people I know around my age range would actually die while we're still young and I'd be seeing it with my eyes. It's no wonder at some point, old people just want to die cos everyone they bonded with as kids are all dead, in some cases their spouse too
I lost my best friend 10 years ago. Last week, Facebook sent me a notification and I fell into the rabbit hole of watching our pictures together and I started crying all over again.
I saw her sister a few months back and I couldn’t even talk to her cos of how much she looked like my best friend. Most days, I remember our memories with fondness, most days I get angry and start questioning God. It’s very very hard. Very very hard. I know how you feel Hauwa and I can’t even promise that it’ll be ok in the end.
I wouldn't say I understand how you feel having lost my best friend this year January... Every word on this newsletter stabbed, just like you, my best friend was also a Christian.
I can only pray that God almighty comforts you, because I'm not so sure the pain ever goes away. I'm sending you hugsssssssssssssss.
It is well..I lost my mum April 12 2024 When I was writing my final exams..i feel like I’m fine but I’m not at all..but i don’t have the strength to act like I’m fine..it is really well💔🕊️✨
When Temi passed, you tweeted about it and I remember thinking, “God why?” and then later thinking “how is she handling it?”
It’s why I kept offering to send you food because I knew the worst had happened but I did not know how to console you.
I’m so sorry you lost Temi. The pain is unimaginable and even with the fact that I never knew Temi, as I read your story today I cried at my work desk. I can’t imagine how you feel. And I’m terribly sorry Hauwa. I’m so sorry life took your best friend from you.
I lost my mum....I was still in sec sch and she was sick for the whole of that year.
I went to school and got back by 2pm,I met some familiar faces outside our house,greeted them and passed them. I went upstairs to our block of flat...saw my auntys and people from church,greeted them and went to my mum's room. The bed was empty....she wasn't there....I asked my elder sis where my mum was, nothing prepared me for what I heard... nothing.
Dead?
She was getting better....so why? Why? 20 days to her birthday.
It was heartbreaking....but tho I go on with life wondering if she was alive would it be any different. I miss her....I miss her so much and no day passes by where I don't think of her. 2024 I am a university graduate serving my father's land and I know,I know....tho it's been hard with depression and anxiety and uneasiness....I know she's watching me....taking care of me and my sisters in her own way. So Hauwa, I don't know what you and her do while together....but she might like it if you do them on her behalf.
And know that she's watching you. She's proud of you and she loves yo and she's still there listening to your break up stories. I hope this makes you feel better.
I was expecting a funny newsletter when I opened it but 5 minutes later, I’m crying my eyes out. I’m so sorry you lost your best friend Hauwa. I pray Allah SWt gives you all the strength you need to feel better and smile when her face or memories pop in your head❤️
My mum died when I was seven and 13 years later grief is still at my door. I understand that it never leaves, and I understand the tears that sneaks up on you when you don't even expect. I am crying as I write this and I wish I could send you lots of hugs 🫂
I hope you find the strength to continue even in the absence of Temi. Lots of love ❤️
Hauwaaaaaa, this newsletter brought tears to my eyes. It reminds of my seatmate/classmate in highschool; Omoteniola Oladipupo. Yunno, everytime I remember that I was too busy to go check up on her when she was sick I feel terrible, it's soooooo sad that never in a million years will I ever hear her voice or see her smile again. In everything, I pray God grants her parents and siblings the fortitude to bear her loss forever. Be goooooooood!❤
So emotional. I am carried away while reading. It evokes my own memories of losing my father. I am tearful. Even as death has robbed us our loved ones, their footprints here on earth won't be erase. They're irreplaceable. They're forever. I wish you happy memories as you give us more stories.
I am at work rn and i knew i should have avoided your mail because now i am crying and it just makes me wonder how you feel writing this.
I wish i was this bold to write about how i feel too. I know Temi is proud of you.
Take care of yourself
I think you should, even if it's addressed to yourself... or to the person
you could do whatever you ant with the note after that but writing might help
Thank you Tolu, I actually wrote a bit in my notes yesterday and i must say i did help
Hauwa I won't say I know exactly how you feel but I know to an extent how it can feel. June 22 2023, day 2 of my period , the baddest and crampiest day for me, I woke up cramping and before 8am I received a call that my friend had died. I'm not an emotional person but the scream I screamt, In that moment it was clear why they don't tell bad news to pregnant women/women who just had a baby, because the way I cramped and bled 😭, cos how are you telling me that someone I saw twice this week, someone I just walked out of the kingdom hall with yesterday evening, someone I was supposed to send movies to, is dead and being prepared for burial as we speak?! Yes we were friends, we visited each others houses and had our inside jokes and bants, I didn't actually realize how close I was to her until she was gone. Nothing prepared me for how I'd feel after she died. Because of my cramps, I couldn't attend her burial that morning, I got to her house and saw her mom weeping and something inside me broke. It's over a year now, and I read through you mail in two parts because I was crying so much I couldn't read it all in one go. I don't believe time heals wounds, it only dampens the pain to a point where we feel we've healed, and then one day something triggers us and we're back to square one.
Hauwa, even though I don't know you personally nor knew who Temi was, reading this newsletter brought tears to my eyes.
For me, it gave voice to a thought I've had in my head.
The thought that the older we get, the list of "people we've known who have transitioned to the afterlife" gets longer.
This thought always throws me into an existential crisis of the true meaning and purpose of life.
This breaks my heart, Hauwa, and I can't begin to imagine how you felt writing this.
Your third paragraph says it all. I always say one thing I never planned for or taught of as a kid was the fact that my friends and people I know around my age range would actually die while we're still young and I'd be seeing it with my eyes. It's no wonder at some point, old people just want to die cos everyone they bonded with as kids are all dead, in some cases their spouse too
I lost my best friend 10 years ago. Last week, Facebook sent me a notification and I fell into the rabbit hole of watching our pictures together and I started crying all over again.
I saw her sister a few months back and I couldn’t even talk to her cos of how much she looked like my best friend. Most days, I remember our memories with fondness, most days I get angry and start questioning God. It’s very very hard. Very very hard. I know how you feel Hauwa and I can’t even promise that it’ll be ok in the end.
We’re all trying to cope with it.
I wouldn't say I understand how you feel having lost my best friend this year January... Every word on this newsletter stabbed, just like you, my best friend was also a Christian.
I can only pray that God almighty comforts you, because I'm not so sure the pain ever goes away. I'm sending you hugsssssssssssssss.
I really wish she gave you out of her bum bum as she promised but, you might not have met Kabiru if she did that. You would have had big bum bum. ✨
It is well..I lost my mum April 12 2024 When I was writing my final exams..i feel like I’m fine but I’m not at all..but i don’t have the strength to act like I’m fine..it is really well💔🕊️✨
Temi would be so proud of you hauwa
I hope my mom is too🥺
Trust me, she is 🤍
When Temi passed, you tweeted about it and I remember thinking, “God why?” and then later thinking “how is she handling it?”
It’s why I kept offering to send you food because I knew the worst had happened but I did not know how to console you.
I’m so sorry you lost Temi. The pain is unimaginable and even with the fact that I never knew Temi, as I read your story today I cried at my work desk. I can’t imagine how you feel. And I’m terribly sorry Hauwa. I’m so sorry life took your best friend from you.
Sending you rib crumbling hugs that’ll heal a part of your soul Hauwa🙂🤍🫂
Hauwa...I know how you feel.
December 8th 2016
I lost my mum....I was still in sec sch and she was sick for the whole of that year.
I went to school and got back by 2pm,I met some familiar faces outside our house,greeted them and passed them. I went upstairs to our block of flat...saw my auntys and people from church,greeted them and went to my mum's room. The bed was empty....she wasn't there....I asked my elder sis where my mum was, nothing prepared me for what I heard... nothing.
Dead?
She was getting better....so why? Why? 20 days to her birthday.
It was heartbreaking....but tho I go on with life wondering if she was alive would it be any different. I miss her....I miss her so much and no day passes by where I don't think of her. 2024 I am a university graduate serving my father's land and I know,I know....tho it's been hard with depression and anxiety and uneasiness....I know she's watching me....taking care of me and my sisters in her own way. So Hauwa, I don't know what you and her do while together....but she might like it if you do them on her behalf.
And know that she's watching you. She's proud of you and she loves yo and she's still there listening to your break up stories. I hope this makes you feel better.
I was expecting a funny newsletter when I opened it but 5 minutes later, I’m crying my eyes out. I’m so sorry you lost your best friend Hauwa. I pray Allah SWt gives you all the strength you need to feel better and smile when her face or memories pop in your head❤️
Dear Hauwa,
I'm so sorry 😔 for your loss.
Temi will be so proud of how strong you are and how you've made some of our lives easier with your humour.
I'm sending lots of love your way.
This was so heartbreaking for me, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. I'm so sorry, so so sorry.
My mum died when I was seven and 13 years later grief is still at my door. I understand that it never leaves, and I understand the tears that sneaks up on you when you don't even expect. I am crying as I write this and I wish I could send you lots of hugs 🫂
I hope you find the strength to continue even in the absence of Temi. Lots of love ❤️
Hauwaaaaaa, this newsletter brought tears to my eyes. It reminds of my seatmate/classmate in highschool; Omoteniola Oladipupo. Yunno, everytime I remember that I was too busy to go check up on her when she was sick I feel terrible, it's soooooo sad that never in a million years will I ever hear her voice or see her smile again. In everything, I pray God grants her parents and siblings the fortitude to bear her loss forever. Be goooooooood!❤
So emotional. I am carried away while reading. It evokes my own memories of losing my father. I am tearful. Even as death has robbed us our loved ones, their footprints here on earth won't be erase. They're irreplaceable. They're forever. I wish you happy memories as you give us more stories.