I would have loved to give a response to your question but I’m still fumbling for words to describe how I felt when it happened. It unlocked a new part of me I didn’t know existed. I used to speak loudly and I knew how to express myself with my words but when it happened, I didn’t even know what words to say. I was numb. I found solace in writing down how I felt. It helped me feel and understand my feelings better. I’m over it now but the memories still slip into my thoughts and threatens to choke me but like Davido said: I stand strong.
the thing about getting over heartbreaks is that people always say “with time”. “with time, you’ll be fine, you’ll get over it” but it’s not true
If you want to get over someone, you have to be intentional about it and take steps, that work for YOU, to forget about that person. not all these “10 ways to make him pay” kind of things. Actually look inward and how you are as a person and make decisions that will make moving on easier for you
Brilliantly written. I don't think my input is necessary because I haven't really been in a relationship to know or understand. But I feel like there's no romantic heartbreak one can't get over. It might be hard, but it takes time. Maybe moving on is less about reaching a specific place and more about finding a way to leave the place that hurts🤧🙂
Time does heal, it’s doesn’t mean time just miraculously make you feel better it means time give you the space to process everything and at the end of the day that’s really what we need.
Well, I don't think you really ever get over heartbbreaks especially when you did not foresee living a life without this person. But time, time does some magic and makes you forget, life happens and other things steal your attention, but they come days when everywhere is quiet, you're not distracted and your mind begins to roam, in roaming you go too far backwards and wounds begin to reopen and hurt just as much as they did initially. You can only hope that these quiet days that cause you to roam backwards are few, or you find something captivating enough that you have no need or time to go backwards.
I never understood when people said they had their heart broken and were depressed. I never thought I could be that person tbh because I had never had that kind of love before. But you know what they say, life comes at you fast when you least expect it. Hauwa, I almost ran mad! You see that part you wrote about this person being your own home? That was how the love was. I felt homeless, hopeless and loveless and I was mentally gone for months. I could not get over this person no matter how hard I tried and this experience has made me more empathetic towards people that seem like they can't move on from heartbreaks. That shit changes you in ways you never knew existed. The pain gets better with time, you just have to let yourself feel all the emotions but do not dwell too much in it otherwise, it will consume you.
If you believe you can't get over it, you won't. If you believe you can then you will. It's the interpretation you give to a thing.
And I remember a line from the movie, Someone Great, "see it as you've blessed with a broken heart." That line sounds hopeless and annoying but when you see it as a blessing, the lessons are easy to decipher. The growth is easier. Your life has a purpose. "I'm going to be great, I will. I deserve to be genuinely loved and I will" That's how I've moved on from that phase.
My hugs to anyone going through heartbreak. You're more than a conqueror.
I don’t think everyone gets over it. Some do completely and some never heal from it, they carry that unresolved trauma and become the “Love no dey faze me” people, bleeding on who did not cut them.
I like to think of heartbreak as scarring wounds. They may or may not heal but you would be left with those marks to show for your battles in the past.
Healing is not linear but constantly being gentle with oneself, forgiving oneself, being truthful with oneself will help a lot. With time, you may never totally get over the pain but you will be able to live with the pain that the heartbreak caused you but you have to put in the work of healing
I've had heartbreaks before but there's one that shattered me the most. It's an unbelievable feeling. One that scarred me so much that a year later, I'm not healed enough to let anyone in. I'm yet to find out just how much time can heal
I don’t think so, everything is a state of mind and although it might be difficult and seems impossible at first, it sure gets easier and before you know it doesn’t hurt as much as it does earlier and then the healing process begins gradually and by the time you realize it it’s already a thing of the past.
Reading this reminds me of all the heartbreaks I’ve passed through.
I’d say time heals especially if one really wants to get over it.
I remember one of my heartbreak vividly, I started drinking and smoking things I never thought I’d do in my entire life. Thanks to friends I was able to stop it on time before it became an habit and I basically moved on with my life
I would have loved to give a response to your question but I’m still fumbling for words to describe how I felt when it happened. It unlocked a new part of me I didn’t know existed. I used to speak loudly and I knew how to express myself with my words but when it happened, I didn’t even know what words to say. I was numb. I found solace in writing down how I felt. It helped me feel and understand my feelings better. I’m over it now but the memories still slip into my thoughts and threatens to choke me but like Davido said: I stand strong.
Thank you for this, Hauwa. It was timely.💜
the thing about getting over heartbreaks is that people always say “with time”. “with time, you’ll be fine, you’ll get over it” but it’s not true
If you want to get over someone, you have to be intentional about it and take steps, that work for YOU, to forget about that person. not all these “10 ways to make him pay” kind of things. Actually look inward and how you are as a person and make decisions that will make moving on easier for you
intentionality heals all wounds, not time
Intentionality happens with time.
A good take - thank you.
Brilliantly written. I don't think my input is necessary because I haven't really been in a relationship to know or understand. But I feel like there's no romantic heartbreak one can't get over. It might be hard, but it takes time. Maybe moving on is less about reaching a specific place and more about finding a way to leave the place that hurts🤧🙂
Time heals all, they say.
With time, your heart would have to adjust to their absence whether you like it or not. Unless you are a hoarder of emotions.
Time never heals anything, people work on healing emotional wounds, time shows proof of what you did with your wounds
Time does heal, it’s doesn’t mean time just miraculously make you feel better it means time give you the space to process everything and at the end of the day that’s really what we need.
Different perspectives Shalom
To each his own
Well, I don't think you really ever get over heartbbreaks especially when you did not foresee living a life without this person. But time, time does some magic and makes you forget, life happens and other things steal your attention, but they come days when everywhere is quiet, you're not distracted and your mind begins to roam, in roaming you go too far backwards and wounds begin to reopen and hurt just as much as they did initially. You can only hope that these quiet days that cause you to roam backwards are few, or you find something captivating enough that you have no need or time to go backwards.
I never understood when people said they had their heart broken and were depressed. I never thought I could be that person tbh because I had never had that kind of love before. But you know what they say, life comes at you fast when you least expect it. Hauwa, I almost ran mad! You see that part you wrote about this person being your own home? That was how the love was. I felt homeless, hopeless and loveless and I was mentally gone for months. I could not get over this person no matter how hard I tried and this experience has made me more empathetic towards people that seem like they can't move on from heartbreaks. That shit changes you in ways you never knew existed. The pain gets better with time, you just have to let yourself feel all the emotions but do not dwell too much in it otherwise, it will consume you.
If you believe you can't get over it, you won't. If you believe you can then you will. It's the interpretation you give to a thing.
And I remember a line from the movie, Someone Great, "see it as you've blessed with a broken heart." That line sounds hopeless and annoying but when you see it as a blessing, the lessons are easy to decipher. The growth is easier. Your life has a purpose. "I'm going to be great, I will. I deserve to be genuinely loved and I will" That's how I've moved on from that phase.
My hugs to anyone going through heartbreak. You're more than a conqueror.
I don’t think everyone gets over it. Some do completely and some never heal from it, they carry that unresolved trauma and become the “Love no dey faze me” people, bleeding on who did not cut them.
I think you can get over the initial grief but it changes you beyond words and sometimes you come out better or worse but there will always be change
Nice article
I like to think of heartbreak as scarring wounds. They may or may not heal but you would be left with those marks to show for your battles in the past.
Healing is not linear but constantly being gentle with oneself, forgiving oneself, being truthful with oneself will help a lot. With time, you may never totally get over the pain but you will be able to live with the pain that the heartbreak caused you but you have to put in the work of healing
You can get over them ... But not totally, the memories and lingering hope leaves you vulnerable for some experiences.
I've had heartbreaks before but there's one that shattered me the most. It's an unbelievable feeling. One that scarred me so much that a year later, I'm not healed enough to let anyone in. I'm yet to find out just how much time can heal
Only time can heal a broken heart.
When its new, it might seem like someone wants to die sef but eventually, with time, you’ll get over it.
People always do. Unless you actually don’t want to by yourself.
I don’t think so, everything is a state of mind and although it might be difficult and seems impossible at first, it sure gets easier and before you know it doesn’t hurt as much as it does earlier and then the healing process begins gradually and by the time you realize it it’s already a thing of the past.
Reading this reminds me of all the heartbreaks I’ve passed through.
I’d say time heals especially if one really wants to get over it.
I remember one of my heartbreak vividly, I started drinking and smoking things I never thought I’d do in my entire life. Thanks to friends I was able to stop it on time before it became an habit and I basically moved on with my life
Thanks for this Hauwa ❤️